My Introduction Into Christianity
“If you were to leave Church today and get into a wreck and die, would you go to Heaven?”
Many years ago when I was still a kid, I remember going to Church with my family. I vividly remember playing my original Gameboy and some headphones while the preacher was… preaching. I, of course, was not paying attention. I was glued to my Gameboy and didn’t have a care in the world. Any normal kid would be this way.
Church at the time was nothing more to me than a boring waste of time. I did not see a value in waking up early to get dressed and get yelled at for an hour and a half - my parents did that enough to me at home for acting up. That did come to and end, though, as my family slowly stopped going to the Church we usually attended.
My grandfather was a deacon at this Church, and unbeknownst to me there were some… “issues” brewing within the congregation between my family and others. I still don’t feel like I have enough details on what happened there, but I will talk more about this and what I don’t like about Church in the future.
Fast-forwarding to when I was in middle-school: I became friends with someone who also attended the same Church that my family used to attend. As we hung out more and became closer friends, I would stay over at his house some weekends and we would attend that Church - my “home Church” on Sunday mornings.
I still remember the first time I attended Sunday School with him. We were talking about usual Bible things - I don’t remember the specifics about what we were being taught, but toward the end I did get asked a question: “If you were to leave Church today and get into a wreck and die, would you go to Heaven?” Any kid my age has no idea what to answer with soulful honesty, no matter their “maturity”, in my opinion; I answered that I don’t know. Our Sunday School teacher then told me about the Sinner’s Prayer and asked me to pray it, to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to live in my heart. And that was it.
No, not really.
Nothing changed in my life. If anything it got worse, but those bad things had nothing to do with my supposed salvation.
John 3:3 says: Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Jesus was speaking to a man named Nicodemus, a curious Pharisee who was unsure of what Jesus meant by being born again. I too did not grasp this concept, nor did I even believe a “God” actually existed. No amount of youth trips, Christian concerts, wearing Christian t-shirts, or Vacation Bible School programs would change that in my head.
Even though I was a teenager at the time of being asked about where I would go to Heaven when I died, I just didn’t care. I was more worried about going home to my family, playing video games, hanging out with my friends, whatever else that I could see that was right in front of me. Why would someone worry about something that they cannot see or control?
Philippians 4:6-7 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Is God real? Is my spirit real?
Those are questions I would ask myself a lot eventually, because I did keep attending Church with people around me believing that I was a Christian. I would also witness things in the Church, and even participate in things that weren’t very Christ-like.
As I matured, those questions kept nagging at me. It wasn’t until I was 16 and dating someone that I thought I would eventually marry that I had a real spiritual encounter. It’s not something one can scientifically measure, but something did change in my life at the point of me confessing to my youth pastor at the time that I didn’t truly believe or trust in God, but I would like to. He prayed with me, and I accepted that Jesus Christ, the Son of God is the Savior of mankind. It is through Yeshua, Jesus, that we are saved - not by any works that we do. It wasn’t the prayer that I spoke that saved me, it’s Christ’s blood that washes away my sins.
I changed my beliefs not just because of the people around me - they may have had only a slight influence - but because of everything in my life leading up to that point. I realized that I was less than a speck of dust in the cosmos and didn’t actually matter - my existence would not even register if you measured me against the stars and planets in the galaxy to one another.
Isaiah 40:26 - Lift up your eyes on high, And see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number; He calls them all by name, By the greatness of His might, And the strength of His power; Not one is missing.
I’m powerless.
Like many people in history, I looked to the sky for something greater than me. For me, it is Jesus Christ. He is where my faith comes from. He is where my birth rights come from.
He is where my draw my power to keep going. There was a time when I went through a period of depression that stemmed from having a existential crisis, but that deserves its own post.
Thank you for reading. Hope you read the next one.